Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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