Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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