sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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