Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
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i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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