JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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