First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am one with the molecules
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we should paint friendship bongs
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