no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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