The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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