I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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