I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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