Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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