trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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