I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize