somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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