Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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