living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
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