but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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