I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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