i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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