a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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