i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize