I got her a Nickelback box set.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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