We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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