I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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