i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize