Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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