I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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