ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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