I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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