Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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