Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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