Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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