your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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