I think I died a long time ago.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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