I am in a vortex of obligation.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize