I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
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once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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