How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
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I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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