I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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