that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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