I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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