So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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