i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I need moral support for this bender
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize