I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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