If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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