Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He shit in the fireplace
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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