Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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