A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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