i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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