mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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