I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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